I had the dumbest conversation a couple days ago. I was sitting here with my uncle and my step-dad (who is only my step-dad because saying “my sister’s father” is so cumbersome) enjoying the night breeze, drinking Guiness and Heineken (my uncle opted for Steel Reserve. SMH), and blowing it down (cuz that’s what the kids are calling it).
Anyway, my step-dad, who has been broken up with my mom for years now, was talking to us about all of his female troubles. He’s a single dad with two girls …

But really, you’ve just made a decision that will likely snuff out any hope of a future, girlie.
I have a tattoo on my lower back (womp womp, “tramp stamp” whatever) that I got when I was a freshman in college. It’s just my name and some other shit around it so nothing too bad. Still, if I could go back in time I wouldn’t have gotten it. Not because I have anything against tats, I just would have gotten something better. It really is hard to decide what you want …

Remember this dumb guy who got himself impaled on an iron fence while trying to run from the Philadelphia Police? His momma was all on the news talking about police brutality, claiming it was the officers’ fault that her son got stuck on the fence. She also claimed that her son was a good kid and that he hadn’t done anything wrong. He was just scared. Yeahhhhh. Listen mom, there still might be time to retract those statements.
This fool, Tony Burrell, is currently being held on a 5 MILLION Dollar …

As I get ready to spend my weekend taking an exam (for which 72 hours are allotted) in professional responsibility/legal ethics, I can’t help but laugh and identify with the law student in the following story. Courtesy of the ABA Journal -
Surprised to find an intruder with a softball bat demanding his wallet when he awakened one night earlier this month at his Tempe, Ariz., apartment, 23-year-old Alex Botsios reportedly did his best to find his money.
But when the intruder tried to take the laptop computer containing all of Botsios’ …

I’d like to introduce to you The Official Twerkteam if you haven’t already made their acquaintance. See for yourself, NSFW. In advance, I’m all kinds of sorry to even be posting it, but you won’t know what I’m talking about unless you’ve seen it. I feel like I’m contributing to the madness a lil bit, but hell, they already got over 18,000 subscribers and 770,000 channel views. This one was a random choice from their 29 vids:

I wonder when we’re going to start holding people accountable for child abuse for shit like this:

I’m not a skinny person but I really think we need to quit making excuses and accommodations for obese people. There’s a hefty amount of responsibility that goes into being that large. For kids, however, they don’t have the presence of mind, maturity or ability to control themselves when presented with all kinds of treats and fatty foods. It’s clearly ALL on the parents. Surely a five year old child can’t be held responsible …

Swiped from the ABA Journal, idiot in search of “simpler life” burns his degree from Harvard Law School:
“Jack,” a Washington, D.C., a 30-something lawyer who announced on his blog in June that he is giving up his $300,000-plus annual salary and opting for a simpler life.
In Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity, Jack blogs about his excesses and exit strategies. Then on Oct. 27, he took a key symbolic step in that direction. He burned his Harvard law degree and posted a video on YouTube for all the world to bear witness.
“I’ve …

I’m watching Bridget Jones Edge of Reason and it sucks bawlz. Who liked this movie? Why did Rene Zellweger get chubbo TWICE to play this knuckleheaded chick? It was probably the reported 3.2 million dollar bonus on top of the 15 million for the movie itself, but that’s beside the point.
She’s sooooo annoying. The writers of this flick are trying to convince me that insecurity is endearing. It’s not. They also want me to think that this woman, who finds value in her life only when there’s a man involved, …

You look stupid.
Let me preface this with some background. On the bus last night, I saw a dude who was wearing the biggest “shirt” I’ve ever seen in my entire 26.9 years on this planet. This shirt was so huge he could have, and probably did at some point, tripped on it. There was nothing attractive about that outfit at all. It had to be a 10XL and that’s a modest estimation. The arm holes alone could have made a loose skirt for a big-hipped woman! Where the hell did …

Sike. I hate when people say that. Unless you’re an alcoholic, there’s no reason to go so far and proclaim abstinence from liquor altogether!
But I’ll be damned if I sure didn’t feel like that today. I had the worst hangover of my LIFE. I am still recovering. I won’t go into the whole story because it’s scary and at one point kind of disgusting. I’m just glad I’m okay and that I had a good friend to look out for me. Too bad the weather was so nice today (yesterday …